i literally just thought to myself “wow halloween is almost over” but then i remembered that the entire month of october isnt halloween and halloween is actually only one day and hasnt even started yet
lets face it, tampons are just a cheaper and more compact version of dildos
I LOVE SHOVING DRY ITCHY COTTON UP MY VAGINA. IT FEELS SO GOOD. NEVERMIND THE FACT THAT IF I GET THE DIRECTION EVEN A LITTLE BIT WRONG IT FEELS LIKE I’M STABBING AT MY INSIDES. I GET OFF ON IT ALL THE TIME, EVEN WHEN I’M NOT ON MY PERIOD.
why is it that boys have no concept of how to pleasure the female body I swear to god
jiggle physics in plated armor will always confused me
first what is this armor actually made of if its not iron
and two, why is her chest moving when she isn’t
Ah, Bisexuality Day, when Freddie Mercury visits all the bisexuals who’ve been good the past year and gives them presents
Ha ha, I can’t believe you still think Freddie Mercury is real. Everybody knows it’s really your parents.
IT IS FREDDIE. I’VE SEEN HIM! HE COMES TO YOUR HOUSE AND LEAVES YOU OSCAR WILDE BOOKS AND MARLON BRANDO MOVIES.
so this morning I was doing my eye makeup and for some reason the edges weren’t blending all that well on my right brow bone. I didn’t want to add more product and make it too dark but the brush wasn’t doing shit so I was like ‘whatever, finger smudging time’.
and I somehow tore my contact lens in half and launched it out of my eye. by rubbing my browbone too hard.